Dear Nathaniel Ford

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Enjoy Your Family

2011-06-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,
Oh my! Word has just gotten out that my city will be giving you a big bucket of money so that you can spend more time with your family.

$384,000 will get you a lot of time with your family, Nathaniel. And congratulations on that lifetime of subsidized healthcare and FREE rides on muni for you and that beautiful family. I'm sure that you'll enjoy it.

You know what, Nathaniel? I'm not enjoying time with my family right now. And I think you can guess why. It's because my son is sitting at the Muni stop at Stonestown waiting for an M train. It's been 35 minutes already, and a train is due in just 14 more minutes.

Of course, this won't happen to you. You'll be with your family while you wait. Or maybe you all can just jump into a taxi. $384,000 goes a long way.

You commented tonight that it's been a "great experience" leading Muni. Allow me to make it more concise, Nathaniel. For your passengers, it's been simply an experience.

Enjoy that family time, Nat. And godspeed. We'll never forget your contributions to the city.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - It's Been a While

2011-05-31T20:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

Forgive my poor correspondence over the past few months. It's not for lack of subject matter. Why, just yesterday, I stood at Embarcadero Station waiting for a T-Sunnydale while a driver exited the train and joked with a station agent that he needed to get some smokes. An N Judah, crowded with passengers, waited at the edge of the platform while the driver disappeared for a bit and came back laughing. He took his time getting settled in to his seat before moving the train forward. Imagine the people who stared longingly at the platform as they waited to jump 20 feet forward before the doors could open. Maybe some of them wanted a smoke too.

And that's not all, Nathaniel. Even though I walk to work in the morning, I'm still subjected to the maddening evening commute in which the trains "self bunch" as they exit Embarcadero. J-J-J-N-N-L. Ah, the poor J rider who misses those three will wait 30 minutes before another trio emerges.

But today, Nathaniel, I encountered a whole new world of commuter woe. Masses of confused seniors, sullen teens, and angry moms found that they were unable to purchase their monthly passes without providing documentation proving their ages. The oft-delayed Clipper program has finally arrived. Today the staffers at Walgreens tried to explain why IDs were now necessary to purchase the passes that have been available to any citizen. Cheerful Clipper Commodores (the name is mine) attempted to decipher the byzantine process that around 75,000 youths and seniors must navigate in order to get their discounts.

Here's a snippet of my dialogue with Commodore Joseph:
Joseph: "All you need to do is fill out an application and you'll get the youth pass in a couple of weeks."
Me: "If it takes two weeks to process a youth pass, will the monthly fare be pro-rated?"
Joseph: "The rate is $20 per month, but you need to have an ID for the youth and not a school ID."
Me: "What kind of ID?"
Joseph: "Only a passport or a birth certificate."
Me: "And if it takes two weeks to process, will they still charge me for the whole month?"
Joseph: "It's still a discount."
Me: "In the meanwhile, how does my son get his discount?"
Joseph: "The buses still accept the discount fare."
Me: "So he can get on the bus, pay 75 cents, get a transfer, and then take the subway?"
Joseph: "He has to ride at least one stop, but yeah."
Me: "But if he just wants to get on the subway, he has to pay two bucks."
Joseph: "Until you get a birth certificate and show it to us so we can make his pass."

Nathaniel, let's face facts. There are many thousands of citizens in San Francisco who cannot produce a birth certificate or passport in order to ride the subway to school, or to the senior center for a free lunch. President Obama is trying to pass the Dream Act for them. (Come to think of it, President Obama also thought that producing a birth certificate to satisfy seemingly capricious demands was stupid.)

Sure, there are probably hundreds of citizens who will grab granny's passport and show it in order to get a discounted Clipper card for themselves. The former suffer. The latter only get caught if they fail to notice the fare police before turning in the other direction.

Don't even get me started on the hundreds of kids who can no longer get a free muni pass so they can get to school.

You know what would be great, Nathaniel?

If the Clipper program were actually about making transport more convenient for all. But it's not. It's inconvenient. And, at its core, it's unfair to the San Franciscans who need equality the most.

Tomorrow, I shall begin the process of getting a youth Clipper card for my enfranchised child. I'll let you know how it goes.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - A New Year?

2011-01-23T12:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Nathaniel,
I've been such an unfaithful correspondent lately, but I don't want you to believe that it's not because I don't think of you often. In fact, I find myself invoking your name frequently; it's similar to how I invoke Jesus, with a sense of frustration and futility, but with a tiny glimmer of hope that perhaps I'll be heard.

Did you hear me on Friday evening, Nathaniel? It was such a beautiful night with the moon illuminating the balmy streets, filling the hopeful hearts of San Franciscans. We couldn't wait to get home, shed the quotidian cares of the week, and get our parties started. But we had to.

Entering Montgomery Street station at 6:30, I found little space on the platform and, while inbound trains abounded, outbound trains were not in sight. A helpful announcement crackled over the platform, and those who can make out messages challenged by poor P.A. systems, a thick accent, and the howls of angry commuters may have made out more than, "problem with outbound..." That's all I needed to hear.

I ascended the stairs and hopped on the F, making my 7 mile per hour way home. During that ride, I invoked both you and Jesus. I even gave you the same middle name.

Nathaniel, dysfunction is endemic in your system. Where is the pride? How hard is this? New Yorkers, whose system is geometrically larger and more complex than ours, accepted poor service in the midst of a giant blizzard. Here ins San Francisco, we're asked to accept abysmal service in the following conditions:

Rain
Heat
Wind
Baseball season
Fridays
Holidays
Evenings
Mornings

It's a shame that commuters don't commute on pleasant Tuesday afternoons during basketball season and stay home the rest of the time.

I understand that you're soon to be fully vested in our city's astonishingly generous pension plan. It's been five years Nathaniel and you'll now enjoy a lifetime of salary, health insurance and even free rides on Muni. It seems like this has been your primary goal for these five long years. Isn't it time to let someone else give it a go?

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Remain Calm (or not)

2010-11-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

What do you think happens when a jam-packed Muni train suddenly emits a loud bang and then begins listing? Did you guess panic? If you did, you’d be right. Or maybe you were on the same Castro Shuttle that I was on when a big bang/listing event occurred in Civic Center Station during the morning commute.

The panic was mild, as panics go, but still, folks were pushing to exit the train.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been in a situation in which a crowd panicked. I was once on a packed ferry in bad weather when a wave broke through the window and water started pouring into the lower compartment of the boat. But there was a big difference in that situation. Because the VERY FIRST THING that the captain and crew did, was to remind everyone NOT TO PANIC. Sure, cold water in the middle of the ocean on a stormy night is scary, but having a reasonable voice tell you, “Please remain calm” has the effect of calming folks down.

After that initial message, people were still afraid and cold, but nobody was bashing into other people. The guy who was ripping open the life vest box set about his work more methodically. The crush of people on the stairs to the upper deck eased as people came to their senses. We all remained safe from the water, the weather, and each other.

This morning was nothing like that. After the loud bang, the listing car, and the big dust cloud that looked like smoke, nobody said, “Please remain calm.” In fact, the train could have been driverless, given the level of intervention. Even as passengers began to shove against one another in a rush to exit, the driver still didn’t say anything. Nor did he fix it so that the doors stayed open. He did nothing.

Nathaniel, when I exited the train, I noticed the driver chatting with a security guard who had arrived on the scene. The driver had a wry expression on his face. The two men continued to chat as passengers streamed out of the station, seeking other means of transport to work. My fear and concern gave way to rage, as I watched this bemused driver sit there chatting. Did he not notice the crying children, the panicked passengers, the big dust cloud that looked like smoke? More likely, he did notice, but he just didn’t care.

You know what would be really good, Nathaniel?

A simple statement. A tiny piece of information. Something that could calm passengers down. Clearly, the driver was not alarmed as he chatted with the security guard. Just as clear was his disregard for his passengers. That driver felt no sense of duty or responsibility for us.

A sense of duty and responsibility costs nothing. It happens when organizations instill a specific cultural point of view in their employees, partners, and customers. How about if you give it a try? Ideally, before a real emergency occurs.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - This is Broken

2010-10-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

I'm sure you saw today's Chronicle piece in which our Board of Supervisors questioned whether Muni is actually ready to phase out the paper fast pass. Maybe you even attended the meeting?

Nathaniel, please remember that your organization is a service business. Service businesses succeed when they listen to their customers. Sometimes it might even mean admitting that they made a mistake.
The Gap even manager to turn their logo debacle into a kind of cool mistake. Gap's not alone. Many many others have experienced similar fails. Remember New Coke? Remember the redesigned Tropicana logo?
Each of my examples here has one thing in common. When they woke up and started listening to their customers, they realized that they'd fixed the thing that wasn't broken.
I wonder if you and your cohorts in the MTA have ever, in the past two years, sat back and asked yourselves, "Is Clipper right for our passengers? Does it solve an essential problem for them?"

You know what would be great, Nathaniel?

If you ASKED your customers if they need Clipper, instead of telling them that they do. When I visited your office a few weeks back, the Clipper people kept telling me how much easier it would be. Perhaps that's true, but getting a Muni pass was not hard to start with so any improvement is only incremental, especially when you consider the expense and the operational gaps that Clipper doesn't address.

Sometimes people just flock to things because they're good and they work. The Metro Card in New York was like a miracle compared with those heavy little tokens. FastTrak visibly speeds the commute.

All Clipper seems to do is, well, the exact same thing that the FastPass did but with an added layer of expense and complexity.

Maybe by listening to your customers you can figure out how to make us like Clipper, instead of just ignore it.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - HAL

2010-10-19T17:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

I thought you’d be interested in yesterday’s morning commute. I got to Castro station a little late – at around 9:10 and I thought that the commute to work would be simple since rush hour was surely over. Imagine my surprise when I found a platform that was completely full. People were spilling back to the stairs. The daring were jockeying for position on the yellow strip, apparently anticipating the imminent arrival of a train.

Eventually, a two-car L arrived and we huddled masses surged to the train. Some 40 minutes later, we hobbled into Civic Center, where we sat at the west end of the platform. A grumble erupted. The crowd, already irritated grew irate.

Finally, our driver, silent until now, made an announcement. “The computer is controlling the train. The doors in the back won’t open.”

Nathaniel, did you ever see the move 2001: A Space Odyssey? If you have, you would know that an evil computer named HAL takes over a space ship. The situation was ripe for a joke, but it JUST WASN’T FUNNY. We were stuck, crowded, late, and IN THE STATION. Nobody laughed. Nobody made HAL jokes. Instead, people began shouting, “Open the f-ing doors.” It got heated, Nathaniel.

After a couple of minutes, the driver agreed to come and manually open the door. He warned us that he’d only open the front door, and that he’d only hold it open for a minute so if we were to get off, we had to do so fast.

We exited the train like so many Chilean miners, anxious to breath the air.

Outside, we found sardine-can F-trains and packed buses making their way up Market Street on impromptu Express routes. Puzzled tourists wondered if they’d ever get to Fisherman’s Wharf. Disgruntled passengers wondered if they’d ever get to work.

I walked the five blocks to my office, formulating an algebraic equation that might be able to calculate the economic impact of the morning’s screwed up commute.

Where:

X = the average wage of each worker

Y = the average productivity of each worker

A = the hourly expenditure of each tourist at Fisherman’s Wharf

B = the likelihood that any given tourist will choose to go to Chicago or New York or Boston or LA, for goodness sake. (Because all of these cities have functional and reliable public transit systems.)

60 cars per hour, each ½ hour late = 30 hours for the three hours of morning commute, or 90 hours.

Each car carries 100 people, 75% of whom are workers and 25% of whom are tourists.

90*(75 (50 xy) + 25(A/B)) = Impact

Nathaniel, I’m no math genius. But if you plug in $20/hour and $35/hour productivity for workers, and $35/hour spending on tourists and even just a 25% likelihood that they’re not coming back, that means that impact of the “computer controlling the train” is $1,669,410. And that’s just for one morning.

Based on your own salary, or even that of one of your drivers, I think you’d agree with me that these numbers are on the conservative side. And my equation is rudimentary.

A computer like HAL could probably get a better equation, but he’s got better things to do. Like maybe control the train.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - A Riddle

2010-10-17T13:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,
This was a rough week for us Muni riders. The heat seems to produce delays that make our platforms too crowded and our trains too slow. I chose to find my zen.

Like when I rode the F train home on Wednesday. Sure, it took 40 minutes instead of the 12 it would take on the L, but I met a nice tourist and gave him advice about where to go in the Castro.

Best of all, I thought up a new Muni riddle:
How is Muni like a teenage girl?
A:
It travels in packs and is completely unpredictable.

Hah.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Staring at the Screen

2010-10-08T07:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,
I remember when the flat panel screens started appearing in Muni stations a couple of years ago. Folks waiting on the platform had plenty of time to speculate about what your coming network might show. Would it be soothing images of waves? Big Brother admonishments to line up and be quiet? Keystone Kops videos?

Nobody predicted that you'd actually show rail activity, but that was, apparently, the intent.

I've started photographing the screens at various times. Like on Monday when a group of French teens stood, giggling, in front of the one in Powell station. They were betting when the screen would update. It had been static for six minutes and a boy name Pierre was winning.

Here's what it looked like:

Then just after I took the picture, it reverted to the screen that we frequent riders are used to:

What's funny, besides the French kids' ability to make something so quotidian amusing, is that anyone with a smart phone (that's about 45% of all SF adults) can download any one of about a dozen apps that convey this info. And they never go temporarily offline.

For those without smart phones - or giant panel t.v.'s - a quick call to next muni does the trick.

It makes me wonder, Nathaniel, how much time and money is spent on these screens and the feeds that go into them.

You know what would be great, Nathaniel?

If instead of expensive, broken technology (see Clipper), Muni focussed on basic customer services, like friendly informative staff and customer-driven decision making.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Another Friday Night

2010-10-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

While I was waiting for the train tonight, I thought of a riddle:
How is Muni like a frat brother?
It's guaranteed to be f-ed up most Friday nights.

Really. Tonight I arrived at Powell after a very long week and a very difficult day. 7:15 p.m. on a Friday, Nathaniel, and the platform was so crowded that folks were starting to get hinky. It felt like one of those potentially explosive moments. Apparently the N hadn't passed through in more than 20 minutes.

The flat screen was, as it has been all week, temporarily out of service. Didn't matter. Nextmuni.com provided us all with the big picture. It looked like there were maybe 20 trains actually running in the entire system.

SFGate says that a crash was the cause of this Friday's meltdown, but, at the risk of seeming paranoid, I have to say that seems a bit suspect. The drivers are going nuts because the city wants them to be treated like regular workers who have to call in sick and pay for parking and have a limited number of days off. That's what my fellow passengers were grumbling about.

You know what would be really great Nathaniel?

If your passengers could really believe it when a crisis occurs. But we're all starting to think that catastrophe is just another word for Friday down at SFMTA.

I guess that the good news is that the Giants have closed the lead on the Padres as I write this. Hopefully their fans will be able to get home.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Headlines

2010-09-22T13:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,
Two headlines caught my eye this morning.
The Examiner heralded a 10 year low in Muni customer satisfaction (csat to us in the biz); the Chronicle included an item about your possible exit for the DC system. An interesting and challenging day for you, no doubt.

Even though I haven't heard from you, I hope you secretly read my little blog. If you do, you know that I think Muni could have major impacts by implementing a few simple customer service tenets. Riders know that things like fires in the tunnels, crowded trains at rush hour, and fedex trucks blocking buses are (sort of) beyond your control. But we also know that basic courtesy makes us feel better.

The driver who informs us about a delay. The gate agent who looks up and smiles at patrons. The station manager who is willing to give directions. The custodian who says, "Excuse me." All these things would help. And, Nathaniel, as JLo once said, "Love Don't Cost a Thing."

These things are about making riders feel good, but, Nathaniel, they also build empathy for the organization. When an organization's staff behaves humanely toward its patrons, we begin to like them and the organization more, even if other failures persist.

That's how you improve customer satisfaction.

But as it is, it's hard for us to build empathy when we see expensive systems like Clipper and broken flat panel screens. It's hard for us to build empathy for drivers who have a 100 page list of work rules.

Nathaniel, I know that these work rules are the bane of your existence. That's what we have in common. But maybe you can work with the drivers to instill a culture of basic customer service. It would go a long way.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Responses

2010-09-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

We haven't met, spoken, texted or even emailed yet. The closest we've come was a form letter telling me that Muni Customer Services' goal "is to provide timely, convenient and safe service, and your input is very important." The form letter assured me that someone from marketing would be in touch, and someone was!

A nice woman named Gina Zagata offered to make an appointment for me so I wouldn't have to wait in line for my son's youth pass. It's a kind offer and it solves my problem, but it doesn't address the core problem with the youth pass requirements. My plan is to get the pass the same way everyone else has to and document it here on the blog! It'll be a little foray into photo journalism.

Gina also told me that you're thinking about opening a second customer service center in the Presidio to help parents out. That's a great idea Nathaniel, except I think that the geography might prove challenging. Here's a map of where the public schools (and the kids who probably need muni passes the most) are in San Francisco:

Here's another map that shows how Muni serves the Presidio:

Consider this:

You're creating a location to better serve families who need to get Muni passes in person.
The location is not near the schools that most families visit between five and ten times per week.
The location is only lightly served by your own transit organization.

It seems like another good idea, poorly planned. That's what your organization is becoming known for.

Nathaniel, by now you've probably guessed that I'm the kind of person who writes letters, makes calls, and sends emails. Heck, I even go door-to-door about some issues.

Here's the roster and responses I've gotten so far:

Rachel Norton responded really quickly and promised to find out what the SFUSD could do to help parents. She didn't know anything about this problem.

Her SF School Board colleague Hydra Mendoza hasn't responded to me yet. I thought she would because we met when she visited the Political Action Committee to which I belong to ask for our votes. Maybe she doesn't see this as a campaign issue that would appeal to parents.

Bevan Dufty, my D8 supervisor, sent me a nice email and promised to work with Diana Hammons of SFMTA to understand the issue.

He also contacted Boe Hayward and Janet Martinson at SFMTA.

Gavin Newsom hasn't responded to me yet. He used to respond to me really quickly when I was a journalist. Now that I'm just a politically involved rabblerousing citizen, he's a bit slower to reach out. Alas.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Friday Night

2010-09-12T11:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,
For some reason, Friday evenings seem to be the most challenging for you to get us citizens home from work.

Maybe the drivers, the highest paid in the country, all have weekend places out of reach of the fog so they leave early on Friday to beat the traffic, which is exacerbated by everyone who drives to work knowing that it's going to hard to get home. (You can see the irony here, right?)

Nathaniel, here's a photo I took at Montgomery Station on Friday at 6:45 p.m.:

An L train had just left the station. J Church and N Judah riders were milling about in a sea of resigned discontent. One man pleaded for divine intervention.
Here's a photo I took a few seconds later:

That train is an L. A second L was in the tunnel just behind it.

Finally, the sign got it right.

Nathaniel, I posted an entry just a few days ago wondering how the dispatch of trains can be so screwed up.

You know what would be really great, Nathaniel Ford?
If there were some way you could align resources and dispatch trains to fit in with the completely predictable patterns of city commuters.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Clipped

2010-09-08T18:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

For the past five years or so, I've been redeeming my commuter check at Rossi's Deli in the Castro in exchange for an adult and a youth Muni pass. Simple. Fast. Friendly.

Now I learn that the Clipper card will make my life far more convenient. That may be true. I expect that the Clipper won't be demagnetized by the 15th of each month, forcing me to replace or go through the motions of putting the broken pass into the machine before the muni attendant will let me through. That part is good.

But Nathaniel, are you really going to force me to come to the SFMTA Customer Service Center to submit a form in order to get what I've been buying from Rossi's for years!?

Have you noticed that the hours of the SFMTA Customer Service hours are limited to Monday - Friday, 8 a.m. - 5 p.m.?

That's when I'm working, Nathaniel!

And the last two times I went there on my lunch break, the waiting area was so crowded that I could see I'd be waiting far longer than the time I had.

Should I take time off from my job?

I wish I worked for the city. Then, my yearly time off would include:
10 - 40 vacation days
13 sick days
12 paid holidays

Here's what I get:
16 paid days off including sick time.
5 paid holidays

The SFMTA Customer Service Center is closed on every single paid holiday I have off.

Nathaniel, why do I need to complete a form and drop it off in person to get something that the nice man at Rossi's could hand across the counter to me?

I keep hearing how San Francisco wants to make the city friendlier for families. How is it friendlier to make me jump through hoops?

You know what would be great, Nathaniel?

If I could get my kid's Clipper card without having to sacrificing precious time off.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Art Project?

2010-09-03T07:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

I'm sure you know by now that the past couple of days have seen major failures in the evening commute. On Wednesday, my commute home involved 9 stops and took about 45 minutes. From the frighteningly crowded Powell platform, I rode in to Embarcadero. That platform was equally crowded so I squeezed into a J Church and rode home. (See previous announcement about The Silence of the Drivers; our Wednesday driver was so silent in the face of delays that a number of people in the car started making false announcements. "Next stop, 18th and Market. We should be there in an hour." Funny. Sad.)

Last night, it was my usual four stops, but it still lasted for 40 minutes. When I arrived on the platform, the announcement was:
2 car - L - in two minutes.
1 car - K - in three minutes.
1 car - J - in five minutes.
2 car - L - in six minutes.
And so on.
I let the first L pass. It was packed and I figured I'd jump on the K.
Then a 2 car N appeared.
Another pair of Ns followed a minute later.
Then nothing for 8 minutes.
Yet the announcements continued to promised the much desired Ls and Ks.
I began to wonder if it was a performance art piece along the lines of the French Avant Garde. I pictured an artist named Simone pitching her twisted idea to the SF Arts Commission.
"We shall emphasize the banality of commuter expectations by making meaningless announcements and releasing trains in an endlessly absurd pattern."

You know what would be great, Nathaniel Ford?
If the evening commute took advantage of the predictability of our city workers' actual travel patterns. I do it the same way every day. I see many many fellow passengers each day.

Perhaps we're banal in our predictability, but is that any reason to subject us to absurdity?

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Unwilling Carpool Mom

2010-08-31T22:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,
You have such a friendly face. And you identify as Nathaniel Ford, Sr. That makes me wonder: Does Nathaniel Ford, Jr. ride Muni to school?

I'm asking because my son should be riding Muni to school. A short trip on the 24 followed by a few stops on the 71 or a brisk walk should get him to school in under 30 minutes. But it hasn't worked out that way, Nathaniel.

Day 1 of school: We checked NextMuni and saw that the next 24 would arrive in 39 minutes. Nathaniel, this was at 7:15 in the morning. How could a major bus line be so fouled so early in the morning. When we checked, I figured that it would determine how quickly my kid would need to finish his breakfast, brush his teeth, and walk two blocks to the bus stop.

But really, what it meant, was that I would need to drive him.

And I'm glad I did. Because Abby, who lives down the street, went to wait for the 24. And guess what? It DIDN'T EVEN STOP at the corner bus stop because it was too full. And Abby was late for her first day of high school. Imagine how Nathaniel, Jr. would feel if he was late for his first day of high school. Ick.

Day 2 played out the same way.

Now, guess what? I'm driving in a parent car pool. TO HIGH SCHOOL, Nathaniel. These kids don't want to pile into a car with moms and dads and Renee Montagne. I don't know how old Nathaniel, Jr. is, but my teenager would much rather skulk over to the bus stop and make his own way to school. Except if it means getting up at 5:30 in the morning so he can overcome the vagaries of the Muni schedule.

For the time being, our small group of parents in the neighborhood have thrown up our hands. We're driving our kids. Taking three more bodies off the bus and putting one more car on the street. It's really that very last thing any of us wanted.

You know what would be really cool, Nathaniel?

If there was more planning around FREQUENCY and less around whatever determines how buses leave. Looking at the schedule, the frequency for the 24 at 7:15 a.m. should be about every 10 minutes. Given the length of the route, I figure that at 7:15, you had a maximum of 8 buses deployed. How could things have gone so wrong so early?

Maybe it's this crazy thing about drivers not having to call in sick.

Or the fact that somewhere around one in five drivers are no show on any given day.

Nathaniel, our city deserves better. I don't want to be carpool mom. That's why I live here instead of Walnut Creek.

Fix this. If not for my kid, then for Nathaniel, Jr.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Typing Lesson

2010-08-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

When I was in high school, they made all the girls take typing lessons. Sexist, yes, but here I am typing away with a decent level of accuracy and speed.

Ms. McKim used to teach the keyboard by making us typists just repeat the same couple of letters. To trick us, she'd sometimes throw in a new letter.

She'd recite, "F F F space. H H H space. F F F space. J..." and so on.

I thought of Ms. McKim while I waited for my train at Montgomery today. There we were, one stop from the Embarcadero dispatch station and the trains were coming just like Ms. McKim's typing lesson.

J J J wait. N N N wait. J J N wait. L.

It makes me wonder if the person in charge of sending trains out is learning to type. That's the only explanation I can think of.

Why is it like that?

You know what would be better, Nathaniel Ford?

If, right there where the trains are arranged and sent out, somebody said, "Hey, instead of sending a train to the same line twice or three times in a row, let's make the next one a K. The people of Ocean Avenue have been waitings a long time."

What do you think, Nathaniel?

Dear Nathaniel Ford - The Silence of the Driver Edition

2010-08-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

Today I got into Powell Station to find an L sitting there with all the doors closed. The train was not quite full, so I was exasperated. Then I noticed that the door in the very front was still open. I rushed up and got on the train. Hooray! No wait.

Oops. Wait. The front door stayed open. All the other doors stayed closed. We stayed put.

Finally, the door closed and we were on our way.

At Civic Center, some passengers got off, more got on. The doors closed. Then the ones in the middle opened. And we sat there. It was during that three minute wait that I decided that tonight, really, I would begin writing to you.

While my fellow passengers muttered and swore, I began composing my theme. "Dear Nathaniel Ford." I fantasized about, one day, getting a response from you. But for not, just writing is enough.

Eventually the middle door closed and we were on our way. Our driver as as silent as a monk who had taken vows. He was a rabbit, or a fish. Not a sound, never mind and explanation, passed through his lips.

You know what would be really nice, Nathaniel?

If Muni drivers simply told passengers what the issue was, and set an expectation. Like when you call PG&E and they say, "The wait is 6 minutes." Sometimes the wait is two minutes; sometimes it's 10. But just that voice makes the customer feel better.

Why is it that some drivers are regular Chatty Cathys and some are as silent as a snowfall?

That's what I'm wondering, Nathaniel Ford.

Dear Nathaniel Ford - Lost Boy Edition

2010-08-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathaniel Ford,

I've been meaning to write for a while. Last week I really meant to because I saw something that I thought would interest you.

I was riding home on the L and we stopped at Civic Center. We passengers could hear the driver on the radio saying something like, "I see him."
Then we saw the driver leave our train. He walked down the platform and then returned to his spot in the front. More radio muttering. Then he said it again, clear as day. "I see him."
He got out of the train again. All the doors except the one in front were closed. People were saying things like, "For Chrissake" and "Not again" and "F**k this." We'd been stopped for two or three minutes. Not a long time, but we didn't know why.

Then the driver returned to the train with a boy who looked scared and about 8 years old. He brought him into the front and we heard him again on the radio. The driver said, "You ever drive a train?" Then he said, "I got him. On my way to Van Ness."

Then we passengers understood. Our driver had spotted a lost boy. We got to watch the boy reunite with his mom. It was touching. We passengers clucked and wiped little tears from our jaded eyes.

But, Nathaniel Ford, you know what would have made this better?

Just one small announcement from the driver. Something like, "We've got a lost boy and I think I see him. Please be patient while I get him."

Who is going to mutter and swear at that?

But he didn't.

Why aren't Muni drivers more communicative? This could have been a situation that had your customers cheering. Instead we went from irritated to less irritated.

Wouldn't it be great if all the drivers were communicative, Nathaniel Ford?

No Torch Hide & Seek

2008-04-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

The Olympic Torch was in San Francisco in 1960. I guess that the leaders of Squaw Valley, CA wasn't as mired in human rights controversies as the current leaders in Beijing.

Thanks to our friend the Super Fabulous Pretty Librarian (SFPL) for the photo!

Globalization, Irony, Passion

2008-04-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

The Olympic Torch was carried through SF yesterday, not without controversy or irony. I went down to the ballpark to shoot some video - see it here.

What really struck me was the enormous gap in thinking between the Pro-Chinese and other protesters (Darfur, Burma, Tibet, Human Rights, etc. etc.) When I talked to a few of the Chinese (who had enormous red flags), they universally expressed these thoughts:

1. The Dalai Lama is a liar and is using naive westerners to make China look bad. (Nobody could explain why.)
2. Tibetans are better off under Chinese rule.
3. The Western media is biased against the Chinese, and westerners are naive for believing what we're told. (Given the ridiculous television coverage of the protests, I kind of agree with the latter statement.)
4. The Chinese do have free speech, but they don't need it because all is well in China and they're better off than they used to be.

Nobody that I talked to seemed to have any clue about why the Darfur people were protesting. One man did say, "Darfur is a liar."

Globalization isn't going to bridge vast cultural differences. It will make a lot of money for a few people though.

Natch, there were a few moments of humor. I especially liked these kids.

Like I said, the day was not without irony.

Teen Jesus

2008-04-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

When I saw these excellent Holy Family figurines at Community Thrift yesterday, I started to think about what kind of teen Jesus would have been. My friend Mary Jennifer Hewett tells me that there's a story about teen Jesus acting up in a temple or something. I haven't heard it, but it sounds about right.

Here are Teen Jesus and his parents at the Sunday afternoon wine tasting at Castro Village Wine Shop.

I like thinking about what Teen Jesus is saying:
"Shut up, Joseph. You're not even my real father."
or
"Sure you like that Downing Family Zin, but it's not like it's imbued with the Holy Spirit."
or
"Can we go now."

Look for more Teen Jesus in upcoming entries.

Passing Through the City

2008-04-04T16:03:00.000-07:00

When I decided to start walking to work every morning, one of my main concerns was what would happen to my blog. Initially, it was a vessel for my complaints about my morning Muni ride. While my evening rides home continue, my irritation level is generally far lower in the late afternoon. Perhaps it's that I go home to my family, or maybe it's the passage of time. Petty irritations seem less word-worthy the next morning when I turn to the my blog.

Now, with the daily morning walk (about three miles) through the city streets, I'm starting to develop theories about the reliable activities on certain blocks, the cyclical nature of the city's psyche, and how the delivery of general assistance checks impacts the mood on the street. There are a lot of things that are predictable (like that I'll see at least three people spit during my walk) and some things that are surprising, like the couple in this picture.

I was touched by their casual affection and their little backpacks.

Channel Surfing vs. Reading

2008-03-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

Today's revelation:
Riding Muni is like channel surfing and walking to work is like reading a novel.

On Muni, everyone's kind of in a hurry, sort of irritated. We're crammed underground and at the mercy of the driver. The day is good when you get the smooth-voiced Johnny Otis-sounding guy and there are no back-ups. The day's not so good when you get the silent driver and some guy with a backpack flailing about.

When I walk to work, the city unfolds in different ways. There's time to take in the details and to exercise the imagination. Today I actually followed a woman who has caught my eye this week as she made her way through the Civic Center farmer's market. She's got sparkly gold and pink glasses, but she always looks pissed off. She blasts her way up the sidewalk, arms akimbo, like some aging Red Rover player. I didn't find the cause of the disconnect between her glasses and her manner, but I did see her buy a whole lot of potatoes. Maybe she's in starch shock. More on her tomorrow.

I also scored two delicious tamales for lunch. Does glasses lady feel my gratitude?

Is Walking Faster?

2008-02-27T09:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, my boy just missed his train. He decided to run to the next stop and see if he could pick it up there. When he got the stop, he was still well ahead of train, and decided to run to the next stop. After four stops, he was still ahead, but he decided to climb aboard so he wouldn't have to cross a busy street.

He marveled at his ability to go faster than Muni. This is how I know he hasn't spent a lot of time in Chinatown where your 90 year old granny can dust the 30 Stockton even if she's carrying a big bag of prickly pears.

Me? I walked to work today. All the way. I'm feeling righteous.

Check out this article in today's Chronic. Why does Muni need drama? Incremental change with preplanned success metrics, people! How hard is that!

If you fix 20 things at once, how do you know what's working and what's not.

Clean Up Muni

2008-02-21T15:42:00.001-08:00

Check out this photo, courtesy of Jen.
She says, "The Sunset is so weird."

I don't think this is any weirder than those stupid wifi buses.

Wifi and Van Ness, or Somewhere Near Van Ness

2008-02-21T14:06:00.000-08:00

Check out this article about wifi on Muni.

Too bad they didn't have wifi this morning. I could have checked to see if there was another train in sight so I didn't have to put up with the guy who pushed me into the crowded car using his entire torso. I can understand pushing when the trains are crowded, but dude, don't push your groin into my ass. Just push me with your hands.

Today's conditions were heinous. Crowded train. Lots of umbrellas and five mysterious mid-tunnel stops without any explanation from the driver. After we'd been stopped for about 3 minutes in one tunnel, the canned voice announced, "Next Stop Van Ness."

Yeah, right. Or about 100 yards short of Van Ness.

Today's messages:

Muni Gods: I'm begging you. Take care of the basics before you bring wifi to buses. Just get the drivers to say, "Traffic. We're going to be sitting here for 2 minutes." Just get the booth attendants to admit it when there's a problem at Embarcadero. Then we can go home and use our wifi there.

Pushing guy: Really, just the hands. And don't call me honey again or I'll kick your ass when we're stuck in the dark.

Higer Customer Satisfaction, Stronger Economy. It's Simple.

2008-02-19T08:45:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday evening, we Muni riders experienced a classic Muni Meltdown. Upon entering the station at Montgomery, we heard:
Next Train - LL - two minutes
Two minutes passed. Nothing.
Then another announcement: Next train - NN - two minutes; followed by NN - two minutes.
Groans erupted.
A steady stream of trains were heading into Embarcadero, but none seemed to be coming out. Another few minutes passed, and still no trains appeared on the outbound platform. I've seen Muni meltdowns before and this was a classic symptom. I went up to the booth and asked the worker, "Is there a problem with the trains?"
He pointed to the traffic screen, apparently not noticing that there were more than a dozen trains queued up at Embarcadero. "Next train in two minutes."
"It's said that for past ten minutes," I protested.
"No problem," the agent said. He turned away and picked up the phone. I swear he wasn't talking to anyone.
I headed for the F train.
The F train driver, seeing the river of people emerging from underground, immediately understood that there was a problem and began allowing passengers to board in the front and the back. He, apparently, was the only Muni employee with a back up plan when problems erupt.
It took about 45 minutes for us to get to the Castro, but the irritiation was diminished by the good humor of our driver. He joked, cajoled step standers, complained about traffic, and generally improved what was a bad situation.
When I got to the Castro, I bumped into my friend Jesse, just emerging from the Muni tunnel.
"You took the train!?" I exclaimed.
"Man, it was practically empty," he said. "Everybody's taking the F today."

Here's the thing:
I figure that there are maybe two or three reasons that trains get backed up at Embarcardero. (Including the hilarious, "We don't have drivers for the trains" excuse I heard a few weeks back.) Why doesn't Muni have a standard backup plan in place. It could be something as simple as an announcement:
"Trains are backed up for the next 15 minutes. Go ahead and grab a beer at the House of Shields and then come back."
Irritation levels drop, the local economy is boosted, the platform becomes less crowded and we all arrive home at the same time anyway. How hard is that.

A President Like My Son

2008-02-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

I walked to work today so no Muni news. I did pass lots and lots of folks out campaigning for Barack Obama. Here are my thoughts:

Caroline Kennedy recently endorsed Senator Barack Obama in a New York Times opinion piece, “A President Like My Father.”

I agree with everything Ms. Kennedy wrote, but when I look at Senator Obama, I see a president like my son. Like Obama, my son is biracial. Unlike Obama, my son, born in 1995, is not unique in his multi-culturalism, or in his brownness. His is a world that is increasingly interconnected.

My son learns alongside children from Mexico, Central America, South America, Asia, the Middle East, Europe and Africa. He belongs to online communities in which borders, race and geography are meaningless. He regularly communicates with people from around the world. Much of his food comes from Central and South America, his clothes come from Asia, and the fuel that heats his home comes from the Middle East. He lives in a global economy in which some reap the rewards of this interconnectedness, but in which too many people are viewed as “human capital.”

My son is growing up in a world in which health care, food and even home mortgages are commodities traded by wealthy at the peril of the poor. By the time he is of college age, tuition costs will have inflated to ten times that paid by his parents, and his student loans will also be considered tradable commodities – potential profit centers for those who will never have to take out a loan to pay for a child’s education.

My son has visited developing countries where a lucky family lives in a two-room dwelling with a corrugated tin roof and a single water spigot in the front yard. He’s seen small children working barefoot in hot, crowded streets, selling food and trinkets to tourists from the U.S. and Europe. He has seen pictures of melting polar ice caps and families stranded on roofs in New Orleans. His world is one in which wars rage on several continents and millions of people are displaced.

His world is increasingly bifurcated – with the gap between a small population of extremely wealthy and an impoverished majority grows ever larger. And yet, at 12, he believes that individuals can make a difference. He has raised money for Darfur and New Orleans. He has made an effort to understand the slaughter of monks in Myanmar, and wants to know why Kenya is erupting into unthinkable violence.

His is a world in which policy and politics will make only a small difference in the lives of the disenfranchised. Social and human engagement on an unprecedented scale are required to change his world. With our global economic engines, technology and staggering wealth, the people of the developed nations are already equipped to effect massive change. Now we must reject the commoditization of humanity, and utilize our advantages to create a more just world.

But to do this, we need a president who can mobilize individuals on a global scale. Barack Obama’s family ties reach from Kenya to Kansas to Jakarta. He inspires hope and has already mobilized hundreds of thousands of people of all races and backgrounds in a campaign that was considered folly only a few months ago.

When I look at Barack Obama, I see the face of my son, and millions of young people like him. They are not defined by their race, but by their potential. Obama understands this. He is the man who can inspire us all to restore hope and humanity to our global world.

Hot & Mysterious

2008-02-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've felt compelled to write. This is actually good news. Despite the crap weather, Muni has been running well lately. Until today.

Mysterious and hot are adjectives best used to describe the potential date you spot across the aisle of the train, or a great film noir shown at the Castro. They are not the adjectives one wants to use to describer her commute to work. Unfortunately, today they are apt.

I entered the crowded T train at Castro and was immediately blasted by the dry, smelly heat emanating from the vents on the ceiling of the train. The doors closed, and we sat in the tunnel. The driver didn't alert us as to the reason for the delay. After a couple of minutes, the steamy train proceeded to Church. Same drill there. People were becoming hot and grumpy.

The bald guy with the iPod blasting what sounded like the End Up's greatest hits from 1998 didn't help. (Is there anything more annoying than the tinny sound of bad disco coming from ear buds? I take consolation knowing that he'll be deaf within five years.)

The stalls and heat continued as we made our stately, steamy way to Van Ness and then Civic Center. Throughout, the driver said nothing. I got off the train at Montgomery, wondering what the hell he or she might be doing up front, but the train sped away immediately after the passengers disembarked.

Then I spotted the driver of the N Judah that had just entered the tunnel. His full concentration was given over to scratching an instant lottery ticket. Perhaps it's Muni lottery day today. I hope that the driver of my train wins so he or she can retire.

Text Alerts Would Help!

2008-01-03T09:12:00.000-08:00

This morning, Muni was plagued with "computer problems" as the p.a. announcements explained. The result was very slow traffic in the tunnels. The good news: Once again, frequent announcements kept riders apprised of the issue and warned of longer waits. The bad news: very crowded trains and long waits.

Which brings me to my frequent refrain: Why can't Muni allow customers to sign up for text alerts? That way, if there's trouble that they know of, riders can choose to either gut it out or to take alternative transit - BART, cab, bus, etc. On days like today, if just 15% of riders chose to take alternative transit, the slow trains would have been significantly less crowded and the experience would have been more pleasant.

Speaking of pleasant, I had an amazing customer experience over the holidays. We traveled to Nantucket for Christmas via JetBlue. The outbound trip was fine. Coming back, our connecting flight from Nantucket to Boston was delayed because of icy conditions. We were pretty much resigned to spending the night in Boston before proceeding home. Instead, an agent met our small plane on the tarmac. He opened to the door and requested that my family come with him immediately. He led us across the tarmac and up some stairs, maintaining a brisk jog the entire time. We followed him down a passageway and through the terminal where our JetBlue flight was waiting just for us. The gate agents whisked us past and the flight attendants had seats and water waiting for us.

Apparently, the plane was held up for 10 minutes for deicing and they decided that the three passengers with the late connection were worth a little extra effort. The most amazing part was when I saw the CapeAir van pull up to the side of plane as the de-icer was finishing up. An agent tossed our four heavy bags up to a waiting baggage handler, so that our luggage arrived in San Francisco with us.

This is why I love JetBlue.

Today's Stats:
Ugh.

Voice of Muni

2007-12-12T09:33:00.000-08:00

It happened again last night! As I arrived at Montgomery Station, a clear voice came over the p.a. and announced, "Due to an injury accident at 22nd and Taraval, the L Taraval will only go as far as West Portal. Disembark there, leave the station and board one of the buses to continue. Buses are at the station and waiting."

Sure, it's a pain to have to take the bus instead of the train, but for the second time in as many days, Muni was alerting passengers to a problem and providing a solution in advance. I don't have to go out to the Sunset, but I imagine that passengers who boarded the trains with this knowledge in advance were a whole lot less grumpy than if they were ejected from the train at West Portal.

Hey Muni! Are you listening? If you are, consider doing the brave and correct thing to close your budget gaps. Raise the prices.

Today's Stats:
I drover to work today.
I will pay about $15 for parking.
I did not get fresh air or read a book.
It took about the same amount of time as taking Muni and was somehow less pleasant.

No Cost Goodwill on a Bad Day

2007-12-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

We arrived at the Castro this morning just as an announcement was made.

"We are experiencing a delay at Montgomery Station due to a medical emergency. Outbound trains are not running. We expect them to begin again shortly."

Clear, concise, specific. While I wasn't thrilled about finding another way for my child (and a couple of his buddies who were already on the outbound platform) to get to school, at least we knew we had to do something. I rounded up the kids and called my husband, who got in the car and drove the kids to school. They were thrilled to get a ride. I was back down on the inbound platform 10 minutes later.

The announcement was made three times as I waited for an inbound train. Each time, the message was clear and specific. The final message was that outbound service was going to start again, but it would be slow going for a while.

This type of messaging is the sort of thing that Muni should be doing all the time. It costs nothing and it gains an enormous amount of passenger goodwill. People are less irritated if they know WHY and HOW LONG they'll be waiting for a train.

The experience today gave me an idea. Since lots of kids ride Muni to school (saving the city beaucoup bucks in bus costs, no doubt), it might be cool to have simple maps for them to use when alternative transit is required. Instead of addresses, show the school name and give them specific instructions for bus routes, etc.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 5 minutes - after re-routing the outbound kids
Ride time: 15 minutes
Muni Reading: What is the What, by Dave Eggers. This could very well be ideal reading for all Muni passengers. It provides a much needed perspective. Getting jostled, being late, sniffing bad smells - all that pales in comparison to what these kids endured.

Measuring Muni

2007-12-04T08:43:00.000-08:00

This morning's Examiner has an article about Muni's poor ontime performance. It talks about bus lines and owl lines and light rail and bonuses for Muni brass. What it doesn't talk about is common sense.

Of course night owl buses run on time. There's no traffic then!

Of course the obscure 81X Caltrain Express has a terrible ontime performance. It's running to and from a train station that's situated next to a freeway. That means traffic.

These "on time" statistics make no sense to me. In these days of 511.org and Nextmuni, printed schedules are just not that meaningful. We can easily check when the next bus/train/etc. is due (more or less) and plan for that.

Frequency is the thing. You want to measure performance - ask riders HOW OFTEN their bus comes, now when. It doesn't matter if the 24 is "on time" if it's a half a block behind the one that's "late." And for the passenger who waited twenty minutes for a bus instead of ten, it doesn't matter that the second on is on time. It's just irritating.

As for me, my rides over the past few weeks have been just fine. Even as the rains come and people start carrying giant shopping bags onto the trains and buses, I'm still a satisfied Muni rider.

I just wish that I could think of a way to get all that Prop A money into the public schools. I'm still rankled by our sell-out progressives.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 1 minute
Ride time: 15 minutes
Muni Reading: What is the What, by Dave Eggers. And if reading about hundreds of frightened, malnourished boys crossing souther Sudan on foot doesn't fill you with gratitude (even for Muni), I don't know what could. But really. Read this book. A compelling story brilliantly told.

Talking on Muni

2007-11-20T17:40:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was chatting with my friend Tim about Thanksgiving dinner menus and this woman stepped between us. Was she inserting herself to make us shut up? (Perhaps she was offended by my anti-turkey stance?)

I said, "You can stand here." And I gestured toward the spot to my right.

She looked at me blankly, but I'm certain that she understood the situation.

"You should stand here so I can stand next to my friend," I said.

Reluctantly, she moved.

Tim cracked up. "I can't believe you," he said.

"Clearly you're from California," I said.

So today my friend Jen was telling me about people holding hands on N Judah this morning. They were positioned so that they blocked the door. For other passengers to enter or exit, they had to say "excuse me" to the hand holders. The N Judah must carry only Californians. Try that in NY and you're going to get your ass kicked.

Sometimes I miss the east coast. Then it snows and I don't. Also, Muni is way cheaper than NY or Boston.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 1 minute
Ride time: 15 minutes
Muni Reading: New Yorker, again. Fiction by Roddy Doyle. It kind of bored me.
Irritation level: Very low. I was riding the J Church because I got my teeth cleaned in Noe Valley this morning. I love riding past Dolores Park.

DiFi Disappoints, Again

2007-11-15T09:27:00.000-08:00

At the risk of cursing the public transport goddesses, I'll report here that the past few weeks have been pretty pleasant on Muni. In fact, today's irritation has nothing to do with Muni. But it has everything to do with our world.

For the past three weeks, Dianne Feinstein has let San Francisco, California and Democrats down again and again. She has repeatedly voted as if she were powerless in the face of the Bush administration. She seems to forget that she's in the majority. Her lame excuse is generally, "We have to pick the lesser evil because Bush will find a way to make this happen anyway."

Sure he will, with spineless senators like Feinstein rolling over for him again and again.
This week alone she's expressed herself appallingly on two crucial issues:
The Attorney General: Waterboarding? Oh, whatever. Welcome Mukasey.
FISA: Spying on Citizens? Well, we need to protect our telecom companies from lawsuits.

She also had a predictably wimpy response to the disastrous oil spill in SF Bay.

I'm a lifelong Democrat. I have NEVER not voted in my life. I read the voter manuals. I write to my representatives. I have a stronger aversion for "direct democracy." But I've also had enough of Feinstein's bullshit. A quick Google search of "Recall Feinstein" reveals that I am not alone.

The thing is, a recall amendment would eventually turn federal electoral politics into a bigger version of screwed up California electoral system. So what do we do? There's some great discussion on Kos today.

I will protest, write, withhold money, organize, and foment dissent as best I can. Join me. Dianne doesn't deserve a free ride until the end of her term. Visualize ZZTop playing songs of protest at full blast outside of her mansion as she plots more ways to please the greedy corporate titans who feed her a neverending supply of greenbacks. It won't stop her from ignoring the values of her constituency, because she doesn't understand our values. But it will irritate the hell out of her.

Hungry? Wait Until You Get Off Muni!

2007-11-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

Jen arrived at the office this morning with a story about a man who was eating on the N Judah. He was dipping his head into the bag and coming up with mouthfuls of cornflakes. Some might laud this as a sanitary way of eating on the bus. After all, the bus germs get on your hands, not your mouth. (Unless you put your mouth on the rail as I've seen people do.) Jen & her fellow N Judah passengers had to watch this guy, dipping his face in and out of his bag as cornflake detritus fell on his belly, the seat and the floor. It stuck to his wet jowls. And he chewed with his mouth open.

It reminded me of an episode I witnessed on Tuesday evening. A woman passed through the turnstyles at Montgomery eating a green apple. The station agent called out, "No eating on Muni." Apple eater shot her a dirty look, bit defiantly into her apple and headed for the stairs.

Next, the agent is on the p.a. "No eating on Muni. Please put that apple away!"

Still, Apple Eater is chewing away on this massive green apple. I'm thinking about that guy in Florida who was tasered for asking John Kerry too many questions. Who knows what Apple Eater is thinking.

The M arrives and A.E., still chewing on the fruit, steps on. A security guard follows, honing in on A.E. as the train heads toward Powell. Perhaps we'll never know if the security guy let A.E. go, or if he tasered her, or if she gave him a bite of her apple and they discussed creation myths like a subterranean Adam & Eve.

Here's the thing. There are many reasons that you shouldn't eat on public transportation. The bureaucrats would probably cite cleanup costs or some obscure health code violation.

For me, though, it's simple. I don't want to watch you eat while I'm commuting. I don't need to see you chew. I don't want to step on your cornflake crumbs. I don't want to site on your discarded apple core. And a sure as hell don't want to be held up while you argue with the driver or the security guard about eating on Muni. Just don't do it. It's gross.

In election news - they're going to be counting ballots for days. I still hope that this stupid Prop A goes down. How come all the supposed progressives think that this is good? You want to be a progressive? Pressure your elected officials to make a stand about more than slogans and "free" Muni improvements. SFist has an interesting take on all this.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 5 minutes
Ride time: 18 minutes.
Muni Reading: New Yorker - The Mitt Romney article. Man that guy bugs me.
Irritation level: Very low. My favorite driver made his usual announcements - "Through no fault of my own, traffic is heavy in the tunnel." and "The computer will not open the doors until we have arrived at the proper place on the platform." It makes me happy to hear this. It also makes me happy to parse his voice. Today, I hit on this: A mix between Truman Capote and R&B impresario Johnny Otis.

Good Morning Gavin

2007-11-05T11:31:00.000-08:00

Like a lot of ladies and gentlemen in the city, I find the idea of "Good Morning Gavin" kind of appealing. I'd say good morning to him, he'd hand me a cup of coffee, and we'd peruse the morning paper. We'd shake our heads ruefully over Ed Jew's latest trouble and chuckle at Leah Garchik's overheard item. Then it'd be off to the shower for us......

This morning's "Good Morning Gavin" was a bit different. My child and I were entering the subway at Castro and Gavin was there campaigning alongside the ever-cheerful Bevan Dufty and the diminutive Aaron Peskin who had wisely positioned himself several yards uphill from our tall-drink-of-water mayor.

Gavin, as always, had a spanking white shirt on. He's moved on from the dark solid suit and wore a fetching striped number. I didn't notice the tie, because I was completely focussed on his impeccable shave and large, soft hands. All this at 7:45 a.m. I guess he's still on the program.

I wished Gavin good luck tomorrow and expressed my disappointment that he was campaigning for Measure A. Rather than get into a discussion about the importance of representational democracy, Gavin engaged my child in a brief discussion about the importance of equality for all robots. Charming.

Then I had an idea. If Muni really wants to delight customers, they should make Gavin an official greeter. He could be like those chunky erstwhile boxers stationed outside of the high-roller sections of casinos. You know it might not be good once you get inside, but you feel pretty special after your brief brush with glory.

I hope Gavin's still there when I go home tonight. Then I'll live out the second half of the collective San Francisco dream.

"How was your day, Gav?" I'll ask.

He'll smile quietly and point to his throat as we wait in vain for the 24 Divisadero.

"Sore throat, again?" I'll ask. "A steamy shower should help."

And even though we'll have to forgo the evening martini, it'll still be quite nice.

Don't forget to vote tomorrow. No on everything except Measure D Renewing Library Preservation Fund.

Oh yeah. And yes on Gavin. Definitely yes on Gavin.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 3 minutes
Ride time: 15 minutes. Could have been longer. I was dazzled.
Muni Reading: New Yorker - Roger Angell on baseball. He's great.
Irritation level: Zero! Thanks, Gav!

Validation!

2007-10-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

I feel validated this morning! As we proceeded on a fairly crowded L from Powell to Montgomery, the train stalled in the tunnel. Passengers checked their watches and prepared to groan. Then the driver came on the p.a.

"Through no fault of my own, there's heavy traffic in the tunnel this morning. We'll be moving again in three minutes," he said. "I'll keep you posted."

The driver's voice was mellifluous and his tone was verging on humorous. The groans were stifled and, all around me, passengers smiled. We returned to our reading materials and three minutes later proceeded to Montgomery.

Cost of this experience: $0.

The driver's quick and personable update soothed his passengers and we disembarked three minutes behind schedule, but unirritated.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 3 minutes
Ride time: 19 minutes (including our 3 minute delay!)
Muni Reading: Divisadero by Michael Ondaatje
Irritation level: Zero! Plus the Red Sox won last night. A bonus.

The Problem with Ballot Measures

2007-10-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Let me just get this out there. I am a firm - some might say strident - believer in representational democracy. I believe that "voter driven" ballot measures give elected officials an easy out when it comes time to make a stand that may not be popular. A good case in point this week was Arnold Schwarzenegger. He vetoed a gay marriage bill, citing Prop. 22, the 2000 ballot measure that "defined" marriage as between a man and a woman, rather than any personal beliefs.

Here's a ballot scenario:
Let's call it Prop 1863.
Proponents promoted "Cheap Labor" and "Strong Economy" and "Diversity in the Workforce" and voters (all white men) said, "YES!"
Then Abe Lincoln says, "Actually, I can't sign the emancipation proclamation because the voters have said they want slavery to continue."

Ballot measures are marketed to voters and funded by businesses. Voters can be lazy and they don't look at what these marketing slogans really mean and who benefits from these measures. It's big money.

So this morning, as I waited for my train, a very earnest guy was handing out fliers for Prop A - a measure that he promised would, "Improve Muni and make it more reliable." The flier says, "Clean Air, Better Muni." Well who wouldn't want that, right? The Yes on Prop A site promises, "$26 million per year -- $300 million over 10 years – without fare hikes or tax increases."

I like clean air, faster commutes and investment in infrastructure. I like that idea that more people will ride public transport if it gets better. What I don't like is that the bill's sponsors are taking the easy way out. Why not raise fares and taxes to pay for stuff? When things are free, they are valued less. This measure is to be funded by parking fees. Not your typical regressive tax for sure, but it will still come with higher costs and higher administrative fees.

Muni is spectacularly cheap. My monthly pass - after my tax break - costs about $41.00. I suspect that a majority of monthly pass holders would be willing to bear a slightly higher cost (say $50) for better service. But no elected officials are willing to say, "Hey riders, downtown parkers, and tax payers, all of you need to help bear the costs for infrastructure investments in our public transport."

That's what a true progressive would do, but instead they're busy printing up fliers and paying earnest campaigners to get convince citizens that they're voting for "Clean Air" and "Better Muni."

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 5 minutes
Ride time: 18 minutes
Muni Reading: The San Francisco voters guide.
Irritation level: The ride was fine, but these ballot measures really piss me off.

Sickout = Better Commute?

2007-10-19T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a whole bunch of Muni Inspectors and Supervisors called in sick because of a contract dispute. I'm not sure what Inspectors and Superviors do, but in their absence, "Muni brass scrambled to fill the ranks."

Nobody I know experienced any delays in service yesterday as all the chairs of "Muni brass" emptied and these folks hit the streets to actually ensure that buses and trains did what they're supposed to do - pick people up and drop people off. The Muni management is threatening to fire the workers who called in sick - more 21st century union busting. (bad)

But union politics aside, it would be interesting to see what would happen if Muni acted like a 21st century private corporation and actually eliminated positions. Maybe they could start with the brass. With all those folks out from behind desks and occupied with the actual business of transporting people, maybe things would run more smoothly. Hmmmm.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 1 minute
Ride time: 15 minutes
Muni Reading: New Yorker - Jerome Groopman on brain function in persistent vegetative state people. Seems like these discoveries will spark a whole new wave of Terry Schiavo type protest - but really interesting. Or, in a more perfect world, discussion about what consciousness means and how it makes us human. A girl can hope.
Irritation level: None at all. (If you don't count this crap weather.)

Muni 3-Step

2007-10-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

The little stall area near the door is an attractive space to stand on a crowded Muni train. You're not pushing against an irritated person in a seat and you can generally reach some sort of handrail when the riding gets rough. But with this space comes great responsibility.

Are you reading this grumpy woman with the curly hair? Are you reading this sullen teen with the infected eyebrow piercing?

You are standing in a major traffic thoroughfare and you must act accordingly. When the train pulls in to a station, step off and to the side. That way, your fellow passengers can easily exit without jostling you. And you can stop muttering about being jostled. It's simple.

Step off, step the side, step back on. And if you choose not to do the Muni 3-step, please stop complaining when you're jostled. It's your fault. You are in the way in a public place.

That rant out, I will say that I experienced a very entertaining driver this morning. I think that he must be experimenting with cadence and sentence structure, as if he were the Thelonious Monk of Muni. I'll try to convey the oddity of his station announcements:
arrrivING. ciVIC CENNNNNter. now. we'rehere. CIviccenTER. CITTTTYYYY hall.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 5 minutes - three too full trains passing. Not bad for a rainy day.
Ride time: 15 minutes - I believe we could have shaved off a minute and a half if everyone practiced the Muni 3-Step
Muni Reading: New Yorker - Hendrik Hertzberg on Hillary's laugh. He is a fantastic writer. Sort of like a stern but avuncular social studies teacher.
Irritation level: HIGHthenlOW. Thanks Thelonious.

Catching Up

2007-10-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

So it turned out that last week's meltdown was due to a power line that fell down in the tunnel. The Muni spokesowman in this article apologized profusely, blah blah blah. Nice sentiment. The thing that really got me though, was this detail: "Metro service was interrupted around 7 a.m."

When I got to the train at a little after 8 a.m., the station agent shrugged and muttered something about slow trains. By 8 a.m., I had already listened to three different morning radio stations, all of which updated me on weather, traffic, local news and sports. If Muni knew at 7 a.m. that 30,000 people where going to be affected by this power line, why the hell didn't they alert the media. A simple message on the radio could divert at least some of those people onto buses, or taxis, or encourage them to walk. It would be proactive. It would be informative. It would stop people from begin pissed off and put out.

Maybe Muni could consider allowing people to sign up for text alerts. That would be a great leap forward that COSTS NEXT TO NOTHING.

Anyway, on to today. For a Monday, the ride was very smooth. But for the second time in as many days (I rode the N on Sunday), the air conditioning was at full blast. I felt like I was riding in the refrigerator car. I guess it woke me up.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 1 minute
Ride time: 12 minutes
Muni Reading: Some Fun, a short story collection by Antonya Nelson. Really good stories, but a bit grim. I will never live in El Paso.
Irritation level: Low. Chilly.

Shrug

2007-10-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

"Is there a problem?" I asked the station agent.

The platform in Castro station looked like a sci-fi film - perhaps a cautionary tale about overpopulation.

The agent shrugged, pressed his intercom button and yelled at a woman who was carrying a lapdog to show her pass for the animal. I repeated my query.

"Trains are slow," he mumbled, giving another shrug.

A garbled announcement came over the p.a. informing us that there was a problem in the tunnel between Van Ness and Church. Something, something, something. Trains are running very slowly. More info than the station agent was willing to provide.

The announcement prompted an exodus from the station to the waiting F train. Many of us exited the F at Civic Center and rode BART the rest of the way downtown. I wonder if there's a correlation between Muni service levels and BART riders who use Muni passes?

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 15 minutes
Ride time: 22 minutes
Muni Reading: The New Yorker with the hilarious "Narrow Stance" cover. Seymour Hersch scares the crap out me every time, but I'm glad to have him.
Irritation level: Extremely high. A little information and honesty would go a long way.

Weekender

2007-10-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

Like many who live in the Castro, I opted to leave my car in its spot on Sunday and take Muni everywhere. The Castro Street Fair brings throngs to the 'hood, with every available spot taken from noon until revelers come home.

We passed through the fair on our way to the very cool Bluegrass Festival. This year there were a lot of green-oriented booths and businesses. Ironically, this morning, neighborhood looks anything but green with fliers, smeared food, plastic cups, broken glass and styrofoam packing peanuts littering the streets. Aren't the fair organizers supposed to clean up?

Anyway, back to yesterday. I have to say that with all the events in town, I was anticipating nightmarish travel conditions, but all was well. We took the N Judah out to Golden Gate Park and the 5 Fulton back. The drivers were friendly and the crowds were good-natured. Go figure.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 2 minutes
Ride time: 12 minutes
Muni Reading: The New Yorker with the hilarious "Narrow Stance" cover.
Irritation level: Zero. (Holiday?)

Cause & Effect?

2007-10-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I wrote about the new flat panel screens that are supposed to give Muni passengers detailed information about trains. As of this morning, I still haven't seen a single one working. Most have a standard windows message: This page contains secure and non secure items. Do you wish to continue?

Click yes and the page is updated. Do nothing, and well.... Maybe Muni has a requisition out for someone to click yes. Can I get that job?

Having suffered through statistics in college, I understand cause and effect, and logically I realize that the presence of these silly and redundant screens likely has little effect on Muni's efficiency. But....

Ever since the screens went up, the trains have been all screwed up. Weeks of smooth rides have given way to completely unreliable service.

Yesterday I had to take a taxi after learning that trains were "running, but slowly because something happened between Powell and Embarcadero." I exited the station, thinking that I'd just get the F streetcar, but there was no streetcar in sight. I shared a cab with a nice guy.

I had a mid-day Muni opportunity as I was meeting a friend for lunch at Embarcadero. I figured I'd save a few minutes by hopping on one of the six Muni lines that pass through Montgomery, only to find that the next train wasn't due in the station for 15 minutes. WTF? BART and got me there in seconds.

Yesterday's trifecta was complete with a classic Muni meltdown in the afternoon. A 2:00 accident at Sloat & 19th had snarled all traffic on the western side of the city. I checked NextMuni before my evening commute and saw that nearly every KL and M was stuck on the other side of the accident site and that other trains were stalled in downtown stations. Why, if everyone in the city knows that the intersection is shut down and will be for hours, would the Muni people keep sending trains into traffic Hell? Why not shuttle them between West Portal and Downtown and at least keep some passengers moving?

Perhaps the managers were huddled around a computer screen, trying to figure out how to click the YES button on their new toy.

Again, I took BART, taking advantage of the little-known perk - MUNI PASSES WORK ON BART as long as you begin and end your ride within SF. (Balboa - Embarcadero.) I had a nice walk home from the Mission on a lovely evening.

So.... this morning. Once again the trains are screwy. A T enters Castro station. The disembodied voice announces, "This train will not stop." Nobody moves. The train stops. The doors open for long enough that a sprite might have been able to pass. The doors close. The train sits there for a couple of minutes, then departs.

A few minutes later, an L arrives. We get on. It stopped in the tunnel 4 times. No explanation. Just sitting there.

Maybe our driver was thinking about the flat panels screens. Maybe she was thinking about how that expense might have gone toward her salary, or more trains, or better managers who can actually keep her passengers happy. Maybe she was stuck on Taraval for hours yesterday, and she was still in a bad mood.

Cause and effect? It's starting to make sense.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 12 minutes
Ride time: 22 minutes
Muni Reading: The New Yorker fashion issue. I finished the article on Donatella Versace. The part about the ballet she commissioned to honor Gianni made me weepy. I must have PMS. Or maybe it's the flat panel screens.
Irritation level: High. These screens are bugging me. So are the stats.

Why?

2007-10-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

This morning, a large flat panel video screen greeted us Castro Commuters. Presumably, it will provide us with exact train locations from West Portal to Embarcadero. I also fear that it will be used to deliver important advertising info to its captive audience. As of this morning, though, it was displaying the stations and a windows error screen.

Its presence sparked a few questions:
1. Why do we need this? We have the hanging screens and soothing female voice that announce train activity pretty accurately.
2. How long before this thing is working?
3. How long before it is stolen?

As with all things Muni, the answers may reveal themselves in due time.

After pondering the sign for a few minutes, I hopped onto a Castro Shuttle. The air conditioning was at full blast. It's a little chilly this morning and train was like a refrigerator car. Why? As I type, my icy fingers are thawing.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: 5 minutes
Ride time: 15 minutes
Muni Reading: The New Yorker fashion issue in which I found out that Donatella Versace has her 'staff' cover the surgeon general's warning on her cigarettes with an embossed DV sticker. She is delightfully freaky.
Irritation level: None. But if the trains start running late because flat panel screens are needlessly being installed in stations, then I'll be very irritated.

The Muni Jump

2007-09-26T08:57:00.000-07:00

The train arrives at the station. The passengers rise and crowd by the door. And....

.... Nothing. We watch the river of commuters pass. We wait. Veteran Muni riders know the drill. At some random moment, the train will jump forward. Tourists and other non-regulars will lurch about. Toes will be stepped on.

Which leads to today's mystery:
Why the hell can't the driver say, "Hold on, people. We're about to lurch forward."?

I know why today's driver couldn't. He was multi-tasking. In addition to driving the train, he was talking on his cell phone and clipping his fingernails, letting the detritus fall where it may. Gross.

At least my toes weren't crushed. It's flip-flop weather after all.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: None.
Ride time: 15 minutes.
Muni Reading: The New Yorker fashion issue. (How fabulous can people with unlimited amounts of money and huge Manhattan apartments be? Very, very fabulous.)
Irritiation level: Mild, with a moderate level of grossed-out-ness

Miles on Muni

2007-09-24T15:30:00.001-07:00

Today's driver was a delightfully gravelly-voiced guy who sounded like Miles Davis. Since it was too crowded to read even the New Yorker, I entertained myself by imagining what it would be like to have Miles as a Muni driver.

"We're swinging into Church station, so get yo asses out fast," my imaginary Miles driver would say. "Com'on muthafuckas, I got places to go."

Then I started thinking about the fun things they could do on Muni. Like when New York got those pre-recorded tapes in cabs that said things like, "This is Broadway legend Charles Nelson Reilly reminding you to buckle up."

Muni could enlist famous San Franciscans to provide on-board entertainment. The 12 Galaxies guy could be a roaming Muni map; the Bush Man from Fisherman's Wharf could scare the people who block doors at stops; and maybe they could have Marian and Vivian Brown do platform fashion commentary (an underground version of Melissa and Joan).

A girl can dream.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: None.
Ride time: 15 minutes.
Muni Reading: Too crowded to read.
Irritiation level: None. A good day to fantasize about what Muni could be with just a little more imagination.

Three Kinds of City Kids

2007-09-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

As Muni continues to exceed expectations by running on schedule, I have time to share more Muni ruminations.

I was hosted for cocktails recently by friends-of-friends. Once we were finished discussing real estate (they own, we rent), talk turned to schools and I revealed that my son rides Muni to and from school each day.

"That's the bus, right?" Mrs. X asked.

"Well there's the bus and the subway," I told her. "He rides the subway."

"Aren't you afraid he'll forget his stop and ride all the way to Concord?" she asked.

It was revealed that the child of Mr. & Mrs. X had never been on Muni, even with his parents. He gets a ride everywhere with either his mom or his babysitter or some other kid's mom.

This contributed to my theory of Three Kinds of City Kids.

1. The kind who never ride on Muni. They will be getting rides until they get a car.

2. The kind who ride Muni to get where they need to go. They know their 38L from their 1BX. They probably started with short little rides and now can get from the beach to the ball park for 50 cents.

3. They're just like the second kind, but very, very loud, and they swear a lot. Whenever they start to piss me off, I think about the first kind of City Kid, and I think that at least these loud, swearing, sweaty kids are independent. And they're expert cursers. I wonder if Little X knows how to use the f-word in the subjunctive. The kid who sat behind me on the inbound L this morning did. And I admired him.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: Under 2 minutes.
Ride time: 15 minutes.
Muni Reading: Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - almost done.
Irritiation level: Goodwill, even for the the little f---er who sat behind me swearing in my ear.

Woof

2007-09-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I lamented not having anything to complain about. Today the lament continues. My Muni experiences of late have been strangely peaceful. Even on a relatively crowded train this morning, everyone - even the gigantic wolf-looking dog who boarded at Civic Center with his human companion - behaved.
What's the deal with dogs on Muni, anyway?
Are they just allowed?
Is this one more thing to like about Muni or something to not like?
I guess, as with all things Muni, it depends on the day.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: Under 2 minutes.
Ride time: 15 minutes.
Muni Reading: Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - really fun read.
Irritiation level: None. All is well.

Free Muni?

2007-09-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

When I started this blog, it was with the intent to give me a place to vent about my daily Muni commute in a place where my co-workers - most of whom also 'experience' Muni - don't have to listen. Alas, I've had little to vent recently. Thanks Muni! You've been briskly efficient for a full week!

Of course, this gives me time to start thinking about the movement to make Muni free. The thinking is that if it's free, more people will ride Muni. This strikes me as colossally stupid. Muni is already one of the cheapest public transit systems in the country. Monthly passes with unlimited rides, transfers, and deep discounts for students and seniors make Muni extremely attractive to many riders.

The fact is, a lot of people who drive to work could ride Muni, but making it free is not going to get them out of their cars.

My neighbor pays about $100 a month to park his car a block from his office. The Muni stop is two blocks away. He drives because he wants to and because he is not price sensitive. Making Muni free is not going to change this.

A coworker drives in to work with her husband, who also works downtown. For them, the parking fee is just a little more than two Muni passes would cost, so it's easier for them to drive. They're used to it now. I don't think that an extra few bucks in their pockets is going to get them on the 38 Geary.

My friend works at a downtown city agency that has a large and free parking lot. She needs to use her car for work about once a week. The parking is free and she's able to jump into her car without any hassle. (The agency would reimburse a cab ride, but who wants to wait for a taxi?) All the free Muni rides in the world won't get her to take Muni to work. Here's the kicker. As part of her job, this friend gives away loads of free Muni passes. It's how her agency entices reluctant clients to show up for appointments where they receive city services. "We know that they probably sell them for $20 and go buy booze or drugs," my friend says. "But those Muni passes at least get them to show up."

(Yikes! Where can I get one of those $20 Muni passes? I'm going to start hanging around outside of City agencies instead of standing in line at Montgomery Street station every month.)

What Muni needs to remember is that it's always cheaper to KEEP an existing customer than to land a new ones. How can they keep us existing customers? By doing what they've been doing the past few days. Show up and transport customers with minimal hassle. That's worth a buck-fifty. A pleasant smile might even get them a tip.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: Under 2 minutes.
Ride time: 15 minutes.
Muni Reading: Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - delightfully immersive.
Irritiation level: None. All is well.

Does Prayer Make a Difference?

2007-09-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

This morning's ride falls under the "most of the time Muni is fine" category. The only problem was that I forgot my book. This gave me the opportunity to observe my fellow passengers, and to consider whether prayer makes a difference.

Praying Lady had her eyes closed and her hands clasped the entire ride. Is that why Muni worked so well today? As my mother used to says, "It can't hurt, for chrissakes."

Blonde Cathy Griffin looked exactly like the real Cathy, but blonde. She caught me staring, but didn't seem bothered. It must happen to her all the time.

Kid with iPod listening to Steve Vai. I am surprised that kids still listen to Steve Vai.

I wasn't the only one who was fascinated by Make-up Applier as she studiously applied mascara to each individual lash, never once slashing the black across her face as the train lurched through the tunnel. How did she do it?

Today's Stats:
Wait time: About 6 minutes.
Ride time: 15 minutes.
Muni Reading: Argh. I left my book at home. Didn't even have an old New Yorker in my bag.
Irritiation level: None. All is well. Thank you Praying Lady.

Three Kinds of Muni Trains

2007-09-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

It might be Barack Obama's fault that I missed my stop this morning. I was right there with Barack as he drank moonshine in a rural Kenyan village with his uncles and brothers and cousins. I only looked up when the driver grumbled, "Last Stop." Not a big deal. I crossed the platform, enjoyed a couple more of Barack's paragraphs and arrived back at Montgomery in minutes.

Walking to the office, I had this thought:
There are three kinds of Muni trains.

1. The kind with the driver who makes nice announcements like, "Powell Street. Cable Cars, transfer to the 5." Stuff like that. I like this kind of train. It makes me feel connected to the city in a more human way. It makes me like the driver and Muni. Even when the train is stuck in the tunnel, we feel like we're all in this together if the driver says, "They're stacked up at Civic Center. We're going to have to wait a bit."

2. The kind with the automated female voice. "Next stop, Montgomery." This is okay. It prompts engrossed readers to put down the book and get off the train. It's helpful when the train is so full that you can't see where you are. It's smoothly efficient, even if it's a little impersonal.

3. The silent kind where the train proceeds from one end of the track to the other, leaving passengers wondering whether there's even a person at the controls. This kind of train mystifies me. All you hear is the tinny noise from iPods and the heavy sighs of grumpy commuters. This is the kind I had today. I don't like this kind of train.

Today's Muni mysteries:
Do drivers get to decide which kind of train they want?
Do some drivers just switch off the p.a. and the automated voice so they can ride in silence?
Or are the p.a.'s broken on some trains?
I suspect that it's the former.
Again, I ask, how hard is it to flip the switch and let the passengers know where they are?

Today's Stats:
Wait time: About 2 minutes.
Ride time: 15 minutes including my back track.
Muni Reading: Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama. The third section is riveting.
Irritiation level: Low. "But still."

Today It Begins

2007-09-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

I ride Muni every day from the Castro to Montgomery Street. Most days, it's fine. I get on, I read, I get off. A pretty good deal for a buck fifty. (Less with my Muni pass.)

Some days it's not fine. Some days it's a mystifying journey into ineptitude, and I've just got to vent. Like today. I arrive at the platform in the Castro. A garbled message comes over the p.a. That rare bird, the Castro Shuttle, approaches. It doesn't arrive on the inbound platform as usual, but rather stops on the outbound side.

My fellow commuters and I steal nervous glances at each other. None of us has ever seen this. The driver makes her way to the back end of the car. (The one facing inbound.) She glances at all the confused passengers on the inbound platform. She sits in the driver's seat and surveys the crowd one more time. And THEN SHE HEADS INBOUND WITH HER EMPTY CASTRO SHUTTLE.

How hard would it be for her to step onto the platform and call out to the crowd, "Hey, come over here. I'm headed back in." ?

Maybe the guy who sits in the booth upstairs could have said something.

Nope.

A single-car T came along. My neighbors and I crowded on. We get to work.

Muni talks a lot about all the money it needs to improve service. Courtesy and common sense cost nothing.

Today's Stats:
Wait time: About 5 minutes (including watching the empty Castro Shuttle come and go).
Muni Reading: Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama
Irritiation level: Mild. A "but still" day.

Until tomorrow.